Excuses, Excuses!

Based on Ahavas Chesed vol. 2 chapter 9

Some people are weak when it comes to performing acts of chesed simply because they don’t understand the enormity of the mitzvah and its reward. Rather, they just think that it’s “a nice thing to do.” They don’t realize that it’s a Torah obligation, just like eating in a succah and putting on tefillin.

And that’s how far we’ve fallen in regards to this mitzvah. Just look at how much energy (and expense) a person is willing to invest in finding just the right esrog. And one doesn’t regret doing so! Just the opposite, in fact – he’s quite satisfied with the effort he was privileged to invest in performing the mitzvah! But for some reason we just don’t hold the mitzvah of chesed in the same regard. Even a little effort feels like too much when it comes to chesed. And when we actually do perform some act of kindness, we don’t feel the same joy as we do when we perform other mitzvos. If anything, it feels like an imposition!

The Chofetz Chaim provides an example (which I am adapting here fairly liberally): Let’s say that Fred asks George for a loan of $500 to be paid back in thirty days, and George knows that Fred is good for it. But how does George respond? “I don’t have my checkbook on me.” “My banking app is down.” “I’m waiting for a deposit to clear.” If pressed, George might spot Fred $100, but he doesn’t do so joyfully.

Now imagine that Fred approaches George with a surefire money-making opportunity. George wouldn’t be able to come up with the cash fast enough. He might even want to give more! (“What do you mean there’s a $500 cap? I’ve got $1,500 to invest!”) And when George collects his profits, he will thank Fred profusely.

Chesed is the same way. Fred is providing George with a tremendous opportunity. George is now in a position to earn infinite returns on his investment. He should be tripping over his own feet in his haste to perform this mitzvah! This is the meaning of Mishlei 21:21: “One who pursues charity and kindness will find life.” Along similar lines, Rus Rabbah 5:9 teaches, “More than the donor does for the recipient, the recipient does for the donor.”

Because of our deficiencies, however, we fall prey to the yetzer hara when it downplays the importance of chesed and tells us that it’s just “a nice thing to do.” The way to counteract this misinformation is to study chesed (as we are doing) and to see how much importance the Sages have ascribed to this foundational mitzvah.

Some people try to exempt themselves from performing acts of chesed through such misguided mental gymnastics as “Why should I be the one to give this guy tzedakah? Let him go to Joe Shmoe, who’s got more money than me!” Of course, this logic is fallacious. First of all, who says that Joe Shmoe would even give the needy person any money? Aside from that, the Radbaz wrote in a responsum that if a needy person has wealthy relatives who refuse to support him, the obligation falls on the people of the city to do so. The fact that the wealthy relatives refuse to do so shouldn’t be taken out on the person in need!

A second reason that the logic underlying the above excuse is flawed: even if Joe Shmoe has more money than you and I, that doesn’t excuse you and me from performing this mitzvah! In truth, it has no bearing on the situation.

A person might also rationalize not doing chesed because he’s been “burned” in the past, such as by extending a loan that was never repaid. This argument is also invalid. Just because he had a bad experience with an “evil borrower who defaults on repayment” (Tehillim 37:21), should everyone automatically be painted with that brush? Rather, if a person has the means to lend and the potential borrower is trustworthy to repay, there remains an obligation to extend the loan. There’s even less of an excuse if the borrower offers collateral!

But what about the person who previously “stiffed” the lender on repayment? Well, that depends. If he’s simply a crook who doesn’t feel like repaying, then it might be justified not to lend to him again, even if he offers collateral. But if the borrower was truly unable to repay, one would still be obligated to extend future loans if the borrower provides collateral.

Get handy, colorful chesed "cheat sheets" in A Universe of Chesed!