The Word We (Should) Miss on Tisha b’Av

One of the practices of mourning that accompany Tisha b’Av is not greeting people. The ultimate greeting, “Shalom”, means “peace”, and a mourner does not have peace. By extension, other greetings are likewise excluded. And so, just as we go a whole day without eating and drinking, we also go the whole day without saying hello to another person.

And we should miss it.

The word hello has to be one of the most beautiful and holy words in any language. It tells the other person that they are noticed, valid and valued. Sadly, in our fast-paced lives and with our prodigious rate and volume of communications, the word hello often quite easily goes missing, as we immediately get to the point of what it is we want to say. Yet something else goes missing with it. When we preface with hello, we are telling the other person that we recognize their existence as having meaning and value beyond the particular task we would like them to do for us. That is a truly beautiful message; arguably, well worth the extra second it takes to say it and the five characters it takes to spell it.

After the fast of Tisha b’Av is over, we replenish our bodies with the food and drink that we went without during the day. Perhaps it would also be worthwhile to call one or two of the people we encountered at some point during the day, and send them the hello that we were not able to at the time. Beyond that, in our daily conversation throughout the year, let us remember to open with this word that can often make a difference to the person in ways we cannot calculate, and lead to outcomes we might never have imagined.

Through greeting each other with warmth, light, empathy and generosity, may we merit to greet the Mashiach, speedily in our days.