Bava Metzia - Daf 59

• נוח לו לאדם...ואל ילבין פני חבירו ברבים

Rebbe Yochanan said: נוח לו לאדם שיבוא על ספק אשת איש – It is better for a person that he have relations with someone who is possibly married, ואל ילבין פני חבירו ברבים – rather than shame his fellow in public. Rava darshened from a passuk in Tehillim that Dovid said to Hashem that if his enemies would tear at his flesh, his blood would not flow to the ground, as a result of their shaming him about the incident of Bassheva, a possibly married woman. Moreover, while they were learning Negaim and Oholos, they said to him, “Dovid, if someone has relations with another man’s wife, what is his capital punishment?” He responded: מיתתו בחנק ויש לו חלק לעולם הבא – his death is with strangulation, but he has a share in the World to Come. אבל המלבין את פני חבירו ברבים אין לו חלק לעולם הבא – But one who shames his fellow in public has no share in the World to Come! A similar statement: נוח לו לאדם שיפיל עצמו לכבשן האש – It is better for a person that he fling himself into a fiery furnace, ואל ילבין פני חבירו ברבים – rather than embarrass his fellow in public. This can be demonstrated from Tamar, who was willing to be executed by burning rather than shame Yehudah in public.

• אונאת אשתו, כבוד אשתו

Rav said: לעולם יהא אדם זהיר באונאת אשתו – A person must always be careful about offending his wife,

שמתוך שדמעתה מצויה אונאתה קרובה – because since her tears come easily, the punishment for offending her is close by to come. Rebbe Elazar said that from the day the Beis Hamikdash was destroyed, the gates of tefillah were locked, ואף על פי ששערי תפילה ננעלו – but even though the gates of prayer were locked, שערי דמעות לא ננעלו – the gates of tears were not locked. Later, Rebbe Chelbo says: לעולם יהא אדם זהיר בכבוד אשתו – a person must always be careful about his wife’s honor, שאין ברכה מצויה בתוך ביתו של אדם אלא בשביל אשתו – because blessing is only found in a person’s house because of his wife, as the passuk says: ולאברם היטיב בעבורה – and he treated Avram well because of [Sarah] (the Maharsha explains the passuk is darshened to refer to Hashem). Similarly, Rava told the people of Mechoza: אוקירו לנשייכו כי היכי דתתעתרו – honor your wives, so that you will become wealthy.

• The story of תנור של עכנאי

A Mishnah discusses an earthenware oven cut into sections with sand in between (which was touched by tumah), which Rebbe Eliezer ruled tahor, and the Chochomim ruled tamei. This was the "תנור של עכנאי" – oven of the coiled snake, referencing the Chochomim surrounding Rebbe Eliezer with arguments until ruling it tamei. Rebbe Eliezer declared, “If the halachah is like me, חרוב זה יוכיח – let this carob tree prove it!” and the tree was uprooted and moved one hundred (or four hundred) amos. They responded, “You cannot bring proof from the carob tree.” He then summoned the water canal to prove it, and it flowed backwards. Again, they rejected the proof. He then summoned the walls of the beis medrash to prove it, and they began to cave in, until Rebbe Yehoshua rebuked them, saying, “If Torah scholars are arguing in halachah, אתם מה טיבכם – what business is it of yours?” Out of respect for both Tannaim, the walls remained leaning as they were. Finally, Rebbe Eliezer said the Heavens should prove it, and a בת קול came forth, saying, “What do you have with Rebbe Eliezer, whom the halachah follows everywhere!” Rebbe Yehoshua stood up and declared: לא בשמים היא – [Torah] is not in the Heavens, meaning once it was given on Har Sinai, אין משגיחין בבת קול – we pay no heed to a Heavenly voice. Rebbe Nassan once asked Eliyahu what Hashem was doing at that time, and he responded that Hashem was laughing and saying: נצחוני בני נצחוני בני – My sons have prevailed over Me; my sons have prevailed over Me.”